Nowadays, there is a trend on facebook/twitter/blog/tumblr - talking about marriage, demanding a great yet a soleh husband/wife to enter the Jannah together and so on.
Looking at a positive side, I can't deny that it is good for us having a perspective that a relationship between a man and a woman is thousands way better with marriage as all of us [muslims] get the fact that marriage has more barakah and is a halal way to express the love. Furthermore, a successful marriage is a door to Jannah. I find that it is beautiful that if a woman is a man's key to paradise [in helping him fulfill his deen with her in marriage, attaining his pleasure through her life and be an obedient wife] so a man is a woman's door to Jannah. The key that opens the door - a husband and a wife need each other's help to get there, masha-Allah.
The Prophet Muhammad [PBUH] said;
''when a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half''
The Prophet Muhammad [PBUH] said;
''the most perfect believer in faith is the one whose character is finest and who is kindest to his wife''
-Tirmidhi and Nasa'i-
As a muslim woman, I also want a great man to marry me, the man who lowered his gaze so that I become the only woman he sees, the man who preserved his heart for me, the man whose love will make me stronger, a gift from Allah, insha-Allah. Surely, I want him to encourage me more towards Allah in our baitul muslim, baitul dakwah.
But sisters, do you think that a prince of deen will marry you while you just sit in front of your laptop, busy updating your status about marry a righteous man or sharing almost all Irma Hasmie's marriage photos and how lucky she is, became a wife to a great man? Is a prince of deen will looking for you just by your splendid poem about marriage, your surat-buat-calon-suami entries or by your menanti-bakal-imamku-dunia-akhirat status? No.
And why do you only focus on finding a righteous man, a prince of deen only? Stop it. Don't let your imagination ruin yourself. There are eight doors of Jannah yet there are many ways to enter them. Don't just focus on one way [marriage]. Be a righteous person first, prepare yourself. Devote yourself to Allah and when you stop searching for a prince and make Allah the King of your heart, He will help you to complete your fairy tale.
Allah has already written the names of your spouse's for you and what you need to work on is your relationship with Allah. He will send him/her to you when you are ready. It is only a matter of time.
For ladies, remember this - don't worry if you haven't found your life partner. Marriage is not the only door that leads to Jannah. Be a righteous woman not just because you want to marry a righteous man. To marry a righteous man not just because you want him to attain Jannah together. You can attain Jannah with or without marriage. Now is the time you be the one that can lead yourself there. Make Maryam a.s as an example. She's not married but still a righteous woman in the eye of Allah swt. It's said by Allah in Surah at-Tahrim;
Surah at-Tahrim [66;12]
وَمَرْيَمَ ابْنَتَ عِمْرَانَ الَّتِي أَحْصَنَتْ فَرْجَهَا فَنَفَخْنَا فِيهِ مِن رُّوحِنَا وَصَدَّقَتْ بِكَلِمَاتِ رَبِّهَا وَكُتُبِهِ وَكَانَتْ مِنَ الْقَانِتِينَ
And [the example of] Mary, the daughter of 'Imran, who guarded her chastity, so we blew into [her garment] through Our Angel, and she believed in the words of her Lord and His scriptures and was the devoutly obedient -Sahih International
Dan juga [satu misal perbandingan lagi, iaitu] ; Maryam binti 'Imran [ibu Nabi Isa seorang perempuan] yang telah memelihara kehormatan dan kesuciannya [dari disentuh oleh lelaki; tetapi oleh sebab Kami telah takdirkan dia mendapat anak] maka Kami perintahkan Jibril meniup masuk ke dalam kandungan tubuhnya dari roh [ciptaan] Kami; dan [sekalipun Maryam itu hidup di antara kaum kafir] ia mengakui kebenaran Kalimah-kalimah Tuhannya serta Kitab-kitabNya; dan ia menjadi dari orang-orang yang tetap taat.
Pray and make du'a for the best, not just for life in dunya but also for hereafter. Ask Allah to forgive our sins, our parents' sins, our family's, teachers' and friends'. Don't forget to make du'a for our brothers and sisters in Palestine, Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan, Burma. Recite Qunut Nazilah after every prayers.
And ask Allah to help ourselves to be among the righteous men.
Yakin sahaja bahawa suatu saat nanti 'kita' pasti akan bertemu, insya-Allah.
Mood - today's iftar menu, chicken soup, lala masak pedas and I-don't-know-what-to-name-the-vegies. I can't remember well the recipes and I just realize that how great the oldies are, memasak taraf master chef Malaysia without referring the menu and they always use the words 'secukup rasa'. Till now, I'm not a pro [in other definition, 'noob'] in measuring the bahan-bahan 'secukup rasa'. I have to strive harder to become an ideal woman. Ceh.
5th of August 2012. Ramadhan 16, 1433.