Is Pain

Assalamu'alaikum brothers and sisters :)


Well, I have been asked by a junior of mine the above question via my twitter. I admit that I took several days to answer this itchy-subjective question as I want to give her the most appropriate answer yet I want to take care of her heart at the same time. I acknowledge this common problem among teenagers - all of this hati perasaan cinta feeling. Please, I am still a teenager too, by look not by age :)


To give a proper answer, I need to separate the question first.

Here is my draft :
1. Akak ada tak someone yang akak suka tapi you just keep it by yourself and he didn't know. Dan rasa mustahil untuk akak dengan dia.

2. How to handle this feeling? Kena lupakan sebab dia macam minat someone yang lain. So rasa macam nak give up.



Dear beloved junior (should I call you 'sister' instead? because our ukhwah is too sweet ^^),

1. Akak ada tak someone yang akak suka tapi you just keep it by yourself and he didn't know. Dan rasa mustahil untuk akak dengan dia.

I will define the phrase 'someone yang akak suka' as a crush and the phrase 'untuk akak dengan dia' as to get married. So I'll conclude that the first question is - am I having a man that I like, I have a feeling for but I just keep it by myself and he didn't know it. At the same time, I think that it is impossible for us to get married based on the current situation.

For the time being, no, I am not having a crush. If the past count, yes, I had a crush. I will say he is my schoolmate. I liked him and I had a feeling for him but I just keep it by myself as we were just a secondary school student and he didn't know it, perhaps?

A taaaaalk about marriage, intriguing huh? :p

I've never asked Allah to give me a specific person. "Please let me marry 'this guy', ya Allah" for example no matter how much I've wanted to do it at times. No, I will not say his name even though I were in a situation that I fell in love with him, deeply. It is really hard to bit back the name of someone that you want for your baitul muslim.

"Marriage is only for someone to give you support, love and friendship to make you a better you. You are you and you are enough but there is someone out there who can help to make you a better you. If God willing, you will find them" - Najua



2. How to handle this feeling? Kena lupakan sebab dia macam minat someone yang lain. So rasa macam nak give up.

I once read this : We sometimes experiences mix feeling and among the worst feelings in the world are -

• Having to fight back tears in front of people
• Finding out that the person you like, likes someone else
• Goodbyes

Trust me, I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to find out that the person you like, likes someone else. This situation will probably breaks your heart only if you give this problem a permission to break you. Sometimes, you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you are a good person. What's meant to be will end up good and what's not - won't. Instead of feeling sad because he can't be with you or because you can't have him for your future, isn't it better to be glad and thankful that you met him at the first place?


I will conclude the topic like this - keep your feeling in a wassatiyah way (modestly, secara bersederhana). Don't love too much, don't hate too much. This is applying to the creatures. To the Creator, love Him infinity, hate Him never.

Reclaim your heart and place it with its rightful owner :

Allah :)

Inside us is a weak heart but behind it is a strong God. Say thank you to this bitter experience and grow up!



p/s : Every love outside of His love...is pain (Rumi Quote)

Wassalam.

Because I Am A Daughter Of Islam

This article has been published on August 13, 2012 at iluvislam.com with the title 'For The Sake of Him'. Acknowledge that this is the original version. Thank you.

Salam'alayk and greetings to all.


Situation One
''Adibah, why are you not covering your aurah and wear hijab?''
''Oh dear Amirah, come on lah. To wear a hijab in our country which is so hot and humid does not make sense''
''Really? [tangan di dada mata ke atas]. So, hang baca kat mana yang kata kalau duduk kat negara yang panas ni tak payah pakai tudung?''


Situation Two
''Zahirah, what is the reason you cover your aurah and wear hijab?''
''Thing is, the hottest fashion trend in Malaysia nowadays is about hijab you know and I need to follow the trend because I am a true fashionista''
''So you are a hijabista-fashionista-until the boys terketar-ketar lah? I see...''


Still in dilemma whether you need to cover your aurah or not? Or are you still don't know why you have to wear hijab? This is what Allah said in the Quran;


Surah an-Nur [24;31]

And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their head covers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed. -Sahih International-

Dan katakanlah kepada perempuan-perempuan yang beriman supaya menyekat pandangan mereka [daripada memandang yang haram], dan memelihara kehormatan mereka; dan janganlah mereka memperlihatkan perhiasan tubuh mereka kecuali yang zahir daripadanya; dan hendaklah mereka menutup belahan leher bajunya dengan tudung kepala mereka; dan janganlah mereka memperlihatkan perhiasan tubuh mereka melainkan kepada suami mereka, atau bapa mereka atau bapa metua mereka atau anak-anak mereka, atau anak-anak tiri mereka, atau saudara-saudara mereka, atau anak bagi saudara-saudara mereka yang lelaki, atau anak bagi saudara-saudara mereka yang perempuan, atau perempuan-perempuan Islam, atau hamba-hamba mereka, atau orang gaji dari orang-orang lelaki yang telah tua dan tidak berkeinginan kepada perempuan, atau kanak-kanak yang belum mengerti lagi tentang aurat perempuan; dan janganlah mereka menghentakkan kaki untuk diketahui orang akan apa yang tersembunyi dari perhiasan mereka; dan bertaubatlah kamu sekalian kepada Allah, wahai orang-orang yang beriman, agar kamu berjaya.

First of all, I want to emphasize that as a believer, we have to try our best to please Him everyday because we are now living on the earth, a place that is created by Allah swt so please follow Allah's rules. Even if you said that you are living on the Mars, or Venus, or Neptune, you are still living on the place that is created by Allah swt. Allah provides all of us a brain with mind per person for us to think, understand and practice amar makruf and nahi mungkar. Our iman might be up and down, I understand but as long as we keep reminding ourselves and others that we live in the defense of the Quran and the Sunnah, and live for Jannah, insha-Allah we will istiqamah to walk on the right path towards Allah swt.


Hijab is one of the way for us to respect the revelation from Him. The revelation for women wearing hijab is not a lie. It is written clearly in Surah an-Nur. Not only in Surah an-Nur, we need to look upon Surah al-Ahzab, Surah an-Nisa'and so forth. As in Surah an-Nur, it circulates the area of public-gendered space, gaze and aesthetic value. Through tumblr, I see that many women from western countries like US and UK has converted into Islam because they see the beauty of Islam. They wear hijab and cover their aurah beautifully and modestly. At the same token, I am wondering on why muslim women in Malaysia are heading towards western culture? The only reason that appears in my mind is because women in Malaysia are muslim by default and that make us take for granted about our religion itself and comfortably thinking that it is enough to have the title 'Islam' only in our ID card. Truly, this is really disappointing.

Dear sisters that I love dearly for the sake of Allah to no end,
I know that sometimes, it been so hard on us to cover our aurah completely. I understand the desire to appear as a beautiful lady in front others. I get the fact that we like it if others praise our beauty. Sometimes it is really irritated to wear hijab in a hot sunny day but the scholars say, ''Every drop of sweat in your body is the heaviest on the scale. You've shaded yourself here, Allah will shade you on the Judgement Day where there is no shade except His shade''.  Be proud of being a muslimah because we are the core of the ummah, we are the back bone of the ummah so that is why Islam elevates our status. Besides, we do not wear hijab because of the pressure from our peers, nor the pressure from the community. It is the command from Allah.

''Take some trouble on the way to Allah. Allah will not leave us unpaid, if not in this world, then in the next He will reward you. If aside from Him, you have no reward in this world, what could be better. This world is nothing. This pomp and these personalities will come to an end after a few days, like a dream passes before the eyes of man but the other worldly reward is infinite and never ending''

-Imam Khomeini-

As intelligent women, we got a choice to choose to obey Him or to ignore His command and I as a 19-year-old muslim woman would advise you to never doubt His existence. I have spit out all the words but the choice is in your hand. As Allah speaks that if a human disobey Him, He did not lose anything but that human will lose everything. Refresh our mind and say to our soul, ''I must cover up because I am a daughter of Islam. I am Islam's Dignity''

Something to ponder; a true muslimah is the one who is never forget that Islam, which encourage her to look attractive under the permitted limits is also the religion that is warns her against extravagance. Keep holding on and be proud to say 'la ilaha illallah, muhammadur rasulullah' even though we might live in an environment that is full with mischief, transgression, evil deeds and acts. Let us learn and understand more about the 'iffah, the honour and the dignity of women and practice to be among al-hayaa' [modesty] ladies. Don't be fooled by dunya, please. May Allah rewards all of us with Jannatul Feerdaus, ameen.


Mood - I am really thankful to iluvislam.com for publishing my previous article, Stop Searching For A Prince. One percentage of appreciation goes to Syahimi, haha. Thank you to Kak Anis because invited me to IIUM Kuantan for iftar jami'e and taraweeh and happy 19th birthday to ze amazing friend, Aflah Sabri. Belajar rajin-rajin.


12th of August 2012. Ramadhan 23, 1433.

Stop Searching For A Prince

Salam'alayk and hello, fighters.


Nowadays, there is a trend on facebook/twitter/blog/tumblr - talking about marriage, demanding a great yet a soleh husband/wife to enter the Jannah together and so on.


Looking at a positive side, I can't deny that it is good for us having a perspective that a relationship between a man and a woman is thousands way better with marriage as all of us [muslims] get the fact that marriage has more barakah and is a halal way to express the love. Furthermore, a successful marriage is a door to Jannah. I find that it is beautiful that if a woman is a man's key to paradise [in helping him fulfill his deen with her in marriage, attaining his pleasure through her life and be an obedient wife] so a man is a woman's door to Jannah. The key that opens the door - a husband and a wife need each other's help to get there, masha-Allah.


The Prophet Muhammad [PBUH] said;

''when a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half''

-Baihaqi-

The Prophet Muhammad [PBUH] said;

''the most perfect believer in faith is the one whose character is finest and who is kindest to his wife''

-Tirmidhi and Nasa'i-

As a muslim woman, I also want a great man to marry me, the man who lowered his gaze so that I become the only woman he sees, the man who preserved his heart for me, the man whose love will make me stronger, a gift from Allah, insha-Allah. Surely, I want him to encourage me more towards Allah in our baitul muslim, baitul dakwah.


But sisters, do you think that a prince of deen will marry you while you just sit in front of your laptop, busy updating your status about marry a righteous man or sharing almost all Irma Hasmie's marriage photos and how lucky she is, became a wife to a great man? Is a prince of deen will looking for you just by your splendid poem about marriage, your surat-buat-calon-suami entries or by your menanti-bakal-imamku-dunia-akhirat status? No.


And why do you only focus on finding a righteous man, a prince of deen only? Stop it. Don't let your imagination ruin yourself. There are eight doors of Jannah yet there are many ways to enter them. Don't just focus on one way [marriage]. Be a righteous person first, prepare yourself. Devote yourself to Allah and when you stop searching for a prince and make Allah the King of your heart, He will help you to complete your fairy tale.

Allah has already written the names of your spouse's for you and what you need to work on is your relationship with Allah. He will send him/her to you when you are ready. It is only a matter of time.

-Sheikh Mamdouh-

For ladies, remember this - don't worry if you haven't found your life partner. Marriage is not the only door that leads to Jannah. Be a righteous woman not just because you want to marry a righteous man. To marry a righteous man not just because you want him to attain Jannah together. You can attain Jannah with or without marriage. Now is the time you be the one that can lead yourself there. Make Maryam a.s as an example. She's not married but still a righteous woman in the eye of Allah swt. It's said by Allah in Surah at-Tahrim;


Surah at-Tahrim [66;12]

وَمَرْيَمَ ابْنَتَ عِمْرَانَ الَّتِي أَحْصَنَتْ فَرْجَهَا فَنَفَخْنَا فِيهِ مِن رُّوحِنَا وَصَدَّقَتْ بِكَلِمَاتِ رَبِّهَا وَكُتُبِهِ وَكَانَتْ مِنَ الْقَانِتِينَ

And [the example of] Mary, the daughter of 'Imran, who guarded her chastity, so we blew into [her garment] through Our Angel, and she believed in the words of her Lord and His scriptures and was the devoutly obedient -Sahih International

Dan juga [satu misal perbandingan lagi, iaitu] ; Maryam binti 'Imran [ibu Nabi Isa seorang perempuan] yang telah memelihara kehormatan dan kesuciannya [dari disentuh oleh lelaki; tetapi oleh sebab Kami telah takdirkan dia mendapat anak] maka Kami perintahkan Jibril meniup masuk ke dalam kandungan tubuhnya dari roh [ciptaan] Kami; dan [sekalipun Maryam itu hidup di antara kaum kafir] ia mengakui kebenaran Kalimah-kalimah Tuhannya serta Kitab-kitabNya; dan ia menjadi dari orang-orang yang tetap taat.

Pray and make du'a for the best, not just for life in dunya but also for hereafter. Ask Allah to forgive our sins, our parents' sins, our family's, teachers' and friends'. Don't forget to make du'a for our brothers and sisters in Palestine, Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan, Burma. Recite Qunut Nazilah after every prayers.

And ask Allah to help ourselves to be among the righteous men.

Yakin sahaja bahawa suatu saat nanti 'kita' pasti akan bertemu, insya-Allah.

Mood - today's iftar menu, chicken soup, lala masak pedas and I-don't-know-what-to-name-the-vegies. I can't remember well the recipes and I just realize that how great the oldies are, memasak taraf master chef Malaysia without referring the menu and they always use the words 'secukup rasa'. Till now, I'm not a pro [in other definition, 'noob'] in measuring the bahan-bahan 'secukup rasa'. I have to strive harder to become an ideal woman. Ceh.

5th of August 2012. Ramadhan 16, 1433.

Never Give Up On Me

Assalamu'alaikum and hi, people.

I'm back after a long hiatus. So yes, I've successfully fixed my blog. New url, new name, new layout etc. And with those new thingy, I also should have a clear objective on why I'm coming back to blog.

For fun?

For satisfaction?

Or the motives are for ummah and Jannah?

Tepuk dada tanya iman, folks.

I do think an A plus blog should reveal more about ideas, advices and some fresh opinions. Just so you know, others might define your personality as a blogger by the way you state your sentences in your blog. Surely the readers are not judging the bloggers by its awesome layouts but readers might define you, yourself by what they are reading, right? Regarding to Eleanor Roosevelt, 'Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people'. I can't agree more. All of us might be agree that it is easy for people to talk about other people. It requires no taught, just pure ignorance.

And to recall what I've got from ISK almost two years ago,

Surah al-Baqarah [2;30]

وَإِذْ قَالَ رَبُّكَ لِلْمَلَائِكَةِ إِنِّي جَاعِلٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ خَلِيفَةً

And [mention, O Muhammad], when your Lord said to the angels, ''Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority.'' Sahih International

Dan [ingatlah] ketika Tuhanmu berfirman kepada malaikat; ''Sesungguhnya aku hendak menjadikan seorang khalifah di muka bumi''

Surah az-Zarriyyat [51;56]

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ الْجِنَّ وَالْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ

And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me 

Dan [ingatlah] Aku tidak menciptakan jin dan manusia melainkan untuk mereka menyembah dan beribadah kepadaKu.

I want to live my life to the fullest, according to Quran and Sunnah, insha-Allah. Definitely, as a muslim, I must prepare for akhirah, the life of hereafter. Life in dunya just once, all of us surely never get another chance. Guys, life is not a nintendo game.

Dedication.

Abah, Mama

Thank you for never give up on me. Everything went too hard for us, kan? I'll reflect more on myself. I'll try hardly to be a good daughter for both of you, I'll try sincerely to show all my love to our family and I promise to be a more positive person. These are not just words. Kakak sayang abah mama, sampai bila-bila pun.

Angah, Achik, Ateh, Zahirah

I am really sorry for not being a good sister, a good role-model for all four of you. I was a selfish sister and rarely concern about how my personality will influence yourselves. Insha-Allah, your 'little kakak' is now ready to learn and practice more about Islam and surely I will teach you what I've learnt and is practicing.

Atiqah, Raihana, Suria, Syahimi and Shazmie

Thank you for keep motivate me. People often say that motivation doesn't last, well neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily kan? I read your blog, Shazmie. It is still inspiring others, just like you. Atiqah and Suria, those funny conversation via skype/video call always make my spirit alive, truly. Atiqah, I'm glad we met, being the best of friend, share everything together since form one until now. Suria, even though we're not really close before, I really appreciate our friendship. You were  a great rival of mine in debate, the best team mate I ever had. You brought out the best competition spirit in me, thank you. Raihana, please update your blog, haha. You are really into tumblr nowadays. And Syahimi, 'si budak four flat yang pandai dan sesungguhnya saya sangat jealous sebab awak genius', thank you for being a random people that keep motivate and gave good words for me.By the way, saya dah mempraktikkan kewangan yang sistematik. Gehh. I am sorry, it's been hard on all of you to keep in touch with me as I only prefer communication via only e-mail or skype. I'll be a better friend for you, please make du'a for me. All of you taught me to keep moving on, face the world fearlessly and to open up my heart. I'll love all of you for the sake of Allah to no end.

Mood - I'm still waiting a letter from IPGM. Kata orang, doa pada bulan Ramadhan ni dimakbulkan. I pray for the best and frankly, I'm hoping for IPBA. Before I forget, I am not activated the anonymous comment in my blog. In fact, I am a debater, saya tak suka membincangkan kes secara tak bersemuka. Faham? Get my point.

Last but not least, something to ponder. 'Untuk menjadi wanita solehah kena bersiap dari awal, belajar agama, rajin memasak dan rajin mengemas. Bukan hanya rajin update status facebook dan twitter 24 jam' -Ustaz Azhar Idrus'.

3rd of August 2012, Ramadhan 14, 1433.