Is Pain

Assalamu'alaikum brothers and sisters :)


Well, I have been asked by a junior of mine the above question via my twitter. I admit that I took several days to answer this itchy-subjective question as I want to give her the most appropriate answer yet I want to take care of her heart at the same time. I acknowledge this common problem among teenagers - all of this hati perasaan cinta feeling. Please, I am still a teenager too, by look not by age :)


To give a proper answer, I need to separate the question first.

Here is my draft :
1. Akak ada tak someone yang akak suka tapi you just keep it by yourself and he didn't know. Dan rasa mustahil untuk akak dengan dia.

2. How to handle this feeling? Kena lupakan sebab dia macam minat someone yang lain. So rasa macam nak give up.



Dear beloved junior (should I call you 'sister' instead? because our ukhwah is too sweet ^^),

1. Akak ada tak someone yang akak suka tapi you just keep it by yourself and he didn't know. Dan rasa mustahil untuk akak dengan dia.

I will define the phrase 'someone yang akak suka' as a crush and the phrase 'untuk akak dengan dia' as to get married. So I'll conclude that the first question is - am I having a man that I like, I have a feeling for but I just keep it by myself and he didn't know it. At the same time, I think that it is impossible for us to get married based on the current situation.

For the time being, no, I am not having a crush. If the past count, yes, I had a crush. I will say he is my schoolmate. I liked him and I had a feeling for him but I just keep it by myself as we were just a secondary school student and he didn't know it, perhaps?

A taaaaalk about marriage, intriguing huh? :p

I've never asked Allah to give me a specific person. "Please let me marry 'this guy', ya Allah" for example no matter how much I've wanted to do it at times. No, I will not say his name even though I were in a situation that I fell in love with him, deeply. It is really hard to bit back the name of someone that you want for your baitul muslim.

"Marriage is only for someone to give you support, love and friendship to make you a better you. You are you and you are enough but there is someone out there who can help to make you a better you. If God willing, you will find them" - Najua



2. How to handle this feeling? Kena lupakan sebab dia macam minat someone yang lain. So rasa macam nak give up.

I once read this : We sometimes experiences mix feeling and among the worst feelings in the world are -

• Having to fight back tears in front of people
• Finding out that the person you like, likes someone else
• Goodbyes

Trust me, I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to find out that the person you like, likes someone else. This situation will probably breaks your heart only if you give this problem a permission to break you. Sometimes, you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you are a good person. What's meant to be will end up good and what's not - won't. Instead of feeling sad because he can't be with you or because you can't have him for your future, isn't it better to be glad and thankful that you met him at the first place?


I will conclude the topic like this - keep your feeling in a wassatiyah way (modestly, secara bersederhana). Don't love too much, don't hate too much. This is applying to the creatures. To the Creator, love Him infinity, hate Him never.

Reclaim your heart and place it with its rightful owner :

Allah :)

Inside us is a weak heart but behind it is a strong God. Say thank you to this bitter experience and grow up!



p/s : Every love outside of His love...is pain (Rumi Quote)

Wassalam.