I've Been in a Phase...

Assalamu'alaikum and hi, everyone :)

Everyone has their own past, the chapter that they don't read out aloud. The past has no power over the present moment, but somehow it makes us who the person we are today.

I've been in a phase where I need to tell my parents that not all of their decisions are the best for me. I've been forced to take science stream for my SPM study. I've told them; my parents and my teachers for so many times that I don't have even a tiny bit of interest to learn about any root of sciences -- biology, chemistry, physics. My parents ended up met the school counselor, discussing about me, my future and whatsoever~ Worsen the situation, the counselor said to my parents that the future study for science stream students are greater than the art stream students. Taking art stream bring you to nowhere. To add, she even 'advised' me to study hard and "kalau orang lain boleh buat, awak pun boleh buat (belajar sains)". Yeah okay, well, I'm not orang lain. I am myself. For a year in science stream, I performed really bad. I kept getting D, E and G for all of the sciences subject plus add math. Truth is, I'm not interested and the teachers know. I cannot transfer school because my parents were under my counselor's 'possession'. At the end of the year, I said to my parents, that I want to transfer school. I can't take it anymore. I'm ready to face all of the consequences cuz of my late transfer to art stream. Mama get mad at me, so I cried, of course. But yeah, that's just for a day. I ended up registering as an art stream student at my new school when I was in form five. Not getting all A's but yeah, I'm among the top students. I'm proud hahaha. Well, after that phase, my parents let me choose what I want and I can talk freely about my plan to them.


I've been in a phase where I've been dumped by a good looking man. He was my primary school's friend and I need to admit that he's a good looking one. We started dating when I was in form four, 2009. I'm so proud because he's a very good looking one and he has lots of fan girls at his school (we're in different highschools, he's a SBP student). During that time dah ada selfie but you can just take a selfie guna kamera belakang so I keep getting his selfies because we're in a long distance relationship. I was showing off to my friends about how good looking my boyfriend is. We keep texting each other for three months until this 2009 raya, he text me that he wanted to end our relationship. The reasons that he gave me was"couple itu haram", sharing an article about couple haram to me and he didn't want to stay in this relationship anymore. I CRIEDDD of course. It was an achievement kottt to date a good looking guy who studies in SBP!!! But then, I keep my dignity. I just said, if it is meant to be, it will be. If that's what you want, I'll go with it -- cuz I don't want to look so pathetic and I want the fact that I've been dumped is not obvious. Lagipun he's the president of BADAR (Badan Dakwah Rohani) in his school, so I accepted his reasons. Months after that, some of my friends who went to the same school with him said to me that he actually having some sort of crush with his junior. So, okay, actually I got dumped because of a girl, like seriously. This phase taught me to not believe good looking guys, just kidding. It taught me to love someone who loves you to no end, who loves you back and who loves you more. A real man gives up all the women in this world that want him, for the one woman that is his world that he wants.

That's all from me, keep reading my friends' phases below, and, what phase you've been going through?

xo

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"I've been in a phase where I question if I am worthy of all the compliments I've been getting ever since I aced my exams when I was in primary school" -Syafiq Haiqal

"I've been in a phase where I am very confused and depressed. I didn't know who/what I wanted to be. It was when I wanted to fill in the UPU form. Do I want to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or an engineer? I don't know. I got depressed for almost a week. I was so worried about what's going to happen to me in the future. But I learnt that you don't have to have any affirmation/confirmation about your future. No one is certain about theirs. Having goals and plans are great, but forcing them to happen, is not" -Syamil Hanafi

"Back then during my foundation years, I was an introvert and seniors would label me as 'snobbish, stuck-up junior who doesn't say 'hi' to seniors' type of junior. I ignored them. At least until they graduated. Then I realized, 'I am better than what they say. I can do more. I can be someone. I can change. I am me. So I did. I don't know but I've become more extroverted and mingle with other people, especially the lecturers and staff members. I befriend with juniors and seniors. I might not be as strong, nice, cheerful as I am now. I am thankful for my old self and also the people around me" -Abang Muhammad Syahmi

"I've been a phase that I hate myself. I hated of being sick. I hated being obese (due to my pills) .I hated being incapable ; joining cross country, running around. I was helpless. Consuming a lot of pills daily is not easy. I lost a lot of hair, I get tired easily and I tend to feel hunger every 1 hour (approx) . I once thought, what if I stopped taking my meds ? Curiosity kills the cat, I did stop my pills (w/o doctor's supervision). I was hospitalized for 2 weeks +-. Collapsed at school, intubated in the ambulance. I learned that happiness is a choice, not coincidence. I decided to stick with my medication . Eventually, i get better (period of 2 years after the incident). I am happy with my current self. I dont need to be skinny as supermodels do . "Just be yourself", one said . And now, what makes me "proud" of making that stupid decision is ; I believe in myself. I did hate P.E bcs i did not believe that I can do as everyone does. Ironically, i even conducted aerobic during Hari Sukan Negara . *Be*lieve in *you*rself. *Be you* " -Athirah

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7 Types of Students Before Entering the Examination Hall

Hai everyone.

I just finished my first paper this morning. Two more two go. My last paper will be on 24th of November. For four years in college, I identified a few types of students before entering the examination hall. Please be noted that, yasss I always use bahasa rojak so please don't mind me. So, happy reading!

1. The Nujum Pak Belalang - this type of students will always have the stock of ramalan soalan from other institutions. They are the ones with wider connection of friends. Once they get the ramalan soalan, they will spread it in class whatsapp group, batch whatsapp group, college whatsapp group, menteri kabinet whatsapp group dan tidak ketinggalan family whatsapp group. It is good if you have ramalan soalan, but it is better to read and focus everything. Better safe than sorry, aite? ;)

2. The A Day Before Exam - this type of students need a professional skill in doing last minute works. They will finish the modul in one go a day before the examination day. They are undeniably the type who don't get nervous to face the examination. Besides, they are such positive people, doesn't get sway by examination. I think it is okay to be this type of students, as long as you focus in classes along the semester. And if you are a genius, why not?

3. The Mind Map Masta - the mind map masta is the one who revise by using mind map. This take a lot of effort, and time, and colourful pens' ink. One good thing about the mind map masta is, they can study smartly where they can bring the mind map everywhere, for revising purpose. They as well are in high risk of being the victims for their last minute study friends, as their mind map stand a high chance to be borrowed.

4. The Q&A Host - before entering the examination hall, there will be at least one student who will wandering around and asking their friends about such topic. They even ask their friends to recap the topic for them. "Eh topic 3 ni apa?" "Apa lagi contoh materials? Textbook, language games, lagi apa?". For this person, please get a life. Everyone else need a time to cover on the topic that they think they are still lacking.

5. The Study Group - in any corners, you will see some students sit together, silently, and revise the notes, or modules. They won't give any response of their surroundings. They give other the impression of model students who values knowledge and view examination as a matter of life of death.

6. The Cool-o-Ice - they just bring themselves to the examination hall, and pencil case. No notes, no modules, no mind maps. They are the cool kidz who prepare themselves well for the examination day. Of course everyone are nervous about examination, but, come on, 15 minutes before examination starts, I think it is better to relax and calm your mind. And brace the questions!

7. The Latecomer - they actually do not know that they will be having an examination until their friends call. They also can be the ones who lost the track of time, or waking up late.

Phew. I end the list now.
Which one are you?

You Got Hijab?

" Habibati, are you an angel? Because I see the tag on your hijab says 'Made in Jannah'"
Ehem, pardon me for my lame pick up line.

Looking back of my past years as a muslim, I started wearing hijab fully when I was in Form 5. I started with tudung bawal, tudung indon/tudung sauk and shawl. During my days, the only choice of hijab patterns I ever had was the plain ones.

Some of us even limit their hijab types to one style only-- pergi kuliah pakai tudung bawal hitam, pergi pasar malam pakai tudung bawal hitam, graduation night pakai tudung bawal hitam, hari raya pun pakai tudung bawal hitam. Why you like this, meh? Shoulda tell ya, why not trying out some of these style, after all, you only live once ;)

• tudung awning - with a popular name tudung indon/tudung sauk. I've tried this out, wearing a black one and I never want to wear this type of hijab to class anymore cuz my classmates said 'tudung orang malas'.
• selendang/shawl - my all time preference. no worries if you don't know how to be stylish with your shawl, you can just buy the instant ones
• tudung bawal - got bawal crepe, cotton etc.
• tudung Syria - I think this one is better than tudung awning



Ain't these pretty?

Living in the year of 2016, the latest hijab fashion offers you a multiple choice of breathtakingly beautiful patterns of hijab from well-known designers such as Hatta Dolmat, Jovian Mandagie and Rizman Ruzaini. Some even going crazy for Naelofar-- as we can't deny the fact that Warda's hijab style from Suri Hati Mr. Pilot is now a trend.

For college students, we tend to simply wear jubah and match them with shawl. That's the simplest attire when we are so lazy or have limited time to prepare ourselves to class. By wearing pretty shawl, nampaklah kan effort nak bergaya ;) It's a mix and match game, anyway.

Thanks to the internet, we are now can just easily buy our hijabs through any website. Aidijuma, Bella Ammara, Benang Hijau -- just name it! Choose your online shop well and choose your hijab well, it is your crown.

xo



Miss Me?

Hello, I am back in writing blog for good.

Life in IPG is great, so far, minus the hostel problems, kena pindah biliklah, kena stay satu aras dengan classmates lah, kena satu bilik dengan classmate lah yadda yadda. Do I need to love my classmates like, too much? I am not hating them, please, but it is too much lah. Why not in the future pun posting satu sekolah dengan classmates and live in the same taman perumahan with them? I am now in my third year degree of  TESL. As always, not interested much in courses, but I need to study as smart and as hard as I can, to get the scroll for my parents. We're not living just for ourselves, aite? Basically, I am not busy with my studies, instead, I let myself getting busy with my writings and JPP duty.

Recently, I received an offer from Wan Ahmad Ismail to write a few poems in Malay to be  published. I am now waiting which poems will be selected for publishing. All thanks to Puan Fathiah for the offer. For JPP, biasalah, sibuk dengan politik IPG jewww hahaha. Practicum phase two at SK Tengku Bariah was great minus my emotion. Benda yang lepas jangan dikenang. I'll be doing my practicum phase three at SK Tok Jiring, January 2017 with the most handsome men of my batch-- Abang Muhammad Syahmi and Ahmad Aizat Hasnullah.


And, about home, takde adik baru. Due to the rejection of wanting my mom to give us new family members in human form, we added the new ones in catz form. Crazily, we are now having six cats in our house-- Hitam, Junior, Charm, Diego, Tiego and Trivago. I'll make a post about them later. Everyone in family is now officially cat people.

That's all for now. I'll update more stories later.

xo

Terbiasa

Aku dah terbiasa untuk tidak menjadi prioriti sesiapa pun
dan aku tak suka tagih janji yang orang buat saat dia merelakan bahawa dia akan buat semuanya untuk aku.

Sebab aku dah terbiasa untuk tidak diprioritikan.

Hati

Pernah dengar tak tentang tautan hati? Bila orang sana sakit, Allah akan gerakkan hati awak untuk turut sama rasa sakit dan bila orang sana sedih, Allah akan hadirkan juga perasaan sebak tu -- Aku tak tahu sama ada orang lain pernah rasa tapi aku pernah rasa macamana. Bila orang sana ada apa-apa masalah, hati aku tersentuh, it was like some kind of instinct. Kami terpisah antara negara. Aku tak fikirkan dia pun, aku buat kerja macam biasa tapi tiba-tiba akan rasa nak menangis.


Dan aku tahu, perasaan sedih ni, sebak ni, sakit ni bukan dari diri sendiri. Taktahu nak terangkan macamana. Ini semua sebab sayang ke? Ya Allah, hati ni lagi-lagi lah. Kenapa terasa orang kat sana ada masalah? Senget kan?


Perasaan ni sangat menyeksakan sebab memang taknak ambil tahu apa-apa pasal dia. Aku taknak tahu dia mati ke, hidup ke sebab aku takde medium untuk menghubungi dia. Allah kan medium kita? Tapi, aku dah tadek hati, hehe.


Perasaan cinta tu, bukannya kita nak. Tak pernah minta tapi tetap datang -- inilah fitrah. Aku ni bukan jenis mudah... hehe so kalau kena, akan sakit dan sakit. Dan akan larikan diri so jadi senget sebentar. Malu. Mestilah malu, boleh pulak teringat kat dia, rindu kat dia. Dan, bila break up sesama manusia ni, menyakitkan dan kalau nak sembuh, it takes time. Boleh sembuh, Allah kan ada, luahlah semua :)


Aku pernah ditanya dan dijadikan tempat meluahkan perasaan oleh seorang sister yang aku kenal semasa sama-sama berMukhayyam Khariji (camping usrah Ikram) dulu. Dia pernah cakap, dia akan tunggu lelaki yang dia suka tu. Dia takut kalau dia kahwin, dia tak boleh nak cintakan lelaki lain macam di cintakan kekasihnya yang dulu. Inilah bahayanya cinta. Letakkan cinta pada tempat yang betul. Kalau tak letakkan sesuatu pada tempat yang betul, itukan zalim namanya. Susahnya nak belajar mencintai seseorang, haha. Macam paksa diri untuk suka certain subjek yang susah tahap gaban, macam nak completekan game candy crush level 33, yang sangat amat terlalu susah. Anyway, belajar subjek ke, belajar untuk mencintai ke, untuk apa semua tu? Sebab hobi? Sebab suka? Eh taklah, sebab PERLU kerana Allah.


Satu lagi, dalam bersahabat, ramai lelaki yang mudah buat baik dengan perempuan. Ramai yang aku jumpa, dan berkawan. Tapi adakah itu tanda diorang cintakan aku? Tidak anak-anak, tidak sama sekali. Semua itu adalah atas dasar persahabatan semata-mata. Ini pesanan ikhlas tanpa caj berbayar : jangan mudah rasa terharu untuk mencintai dan terus mendambakan seseorang yang so-called-special. Naturalkan hati. Kalau nak jugak lah terharu tu kan, alihkan rasa terharu itu kepada Allah, "Ya Allah, Kau Maha Penyayang kerana hadirkan aku sahabat-sahabat yang sangat baik hati dan sentiasa suka menolong. Terima kasih ya Allah, sayangilah mereka...". Ada seorang sahabat lelaki aku berikan aku MP3 - so what do you expect? Confirm sangat ramai cakap yang sahabat ni sukakan aku, cintakan aku yadda yadda yadda. Sesungguhnya tidak wahai rakyat jelata sekalian. Dia memang sangat baik dengan semua orang. Memang dia jenis baik macamtu, nak buat macamane lagi? Ottoke? Dan hati aku ni, tadeklah terharu sampai nak jatuh cinta. Cinta tu berputik bukan sebab material tapi hadir secara semulajadi. And because of that aku belikan dia sebuah buku. Dia memang tak suruh bayar tapi, orang berbudi, kita pun kena berbudi.


Teringat aku kepada pengisian satu talk di IIUM Kuantan, ada seorang brother ni cakap, orang perempuan ni, kalau dia dah jatuh cinta, dia akan sayang sesayangnya. Dia akan setia. Kalau dia jatuh cinta pada seorang lelaki dan lelaki itu adalah cinta pertamanya, dia akan kenang lelaki tu sampai bila-bila, selamanya, forever and ever (here, saya bangkang yang berhormat sebab tak semua orang sama). Didatangkan kisah Asiah, semasa Asiah diseksa oleh Firaun, apa yang Asiah minta? Asiah minta pada Allah sebuah mahligai di syurga dan Asiah tak minta pun suami yang soleh temankan dia. Sebabnya, kata brother ni lah, sebabnya Firaun masih bertakhta di hati Asiah, wallahu'alam. Aku dalam dua, nak percaya ke tak tapi kenyataan ni sangat menghempuk.


Okay entry macam dah panjang sangat.


p/s entry lama, tahun 2013. xo

Bangun

Jatuh selalu

tapi aku bangun dan berlari

selepas ini

aku nak berlari -- tapi lebih laju

daripada yang sebelum ini.

People need time to heal themselves and be better, and I am one of them :)

Rest Well, MH370

Rest well, MH370 :')

As of 10pm local time in Malaysia, the Prime Minister of Malaysia confirms that the final destination of MAS Flight MH370 was in the southern part of the Indian Ocean.

"It is therefore with deep sadness and regret that I must inform you that, according to this new data, flight MH370 ended in the southern Indian Ocean." -Malaysian Prime Minister, DS Najib Razak.

A moment of silence for all the passengers and crews on-board the MH370 flight. Just thinking about all those passengers on MH370 makes me sad. 239 people with hopes and dreams and lives and people who loved them and they're all gone. Doesn't that just make you feel genuinely upset?

My prayers go out to the families who are going through a terrible period we can't possibly imagine and I pray to Allah to give these families patience, the lost souls some peace and for the search teams to be able to locate the wreckage.

We should get through this as fellow Malaysians. Be strong, never forget MH370.

xo

The Fault in My Stars

March 10, 2014
8.30 am

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep, slowly and then all at once"

- The Fault in Our Stars, John Green.

Love is about accepting one's characteristics/interests, not about bearing it because for me, 'accept' is more close to your heart and you'll try to love it too, you'll try to be a part of it. 'Bear' is something you try to ignore, you try to not hate it and at the same time, you will not like it either, as if it is actually invisible.

And that is the point. When you love someone, you should accept him/her unconditionally. You'll try to love what he/she loves. You'll try without any force.

He loves Daughtry. Oh well, I'm not really a die hard fan of Daughtry and their songs are not in my favourite playlist. But I have time to listen to Daughtry's nowadays, even my mornings' ear candies are Daughtry's like seriously.

I love that we can be weird together. Even I don't mind he said 'tahik awak' when I say some nonsense thing. Even he doesn't mind I always'hek eleh' him.

I should ask Mama Abah to let us marry ASAP. Three years is too long. Jk :)

"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt"

-The Fault in Our Stars, John Green.

I'm torn nowadays, trying to stitch myself back. I love my classmates, I even love my JPP family but that's the problem, when you love them, actually you never ever have the permission to hurt them, even curse them silently.

I'm torn, really. I want to love them endlessly. I don't want to get angry with them. I don't want to lose them either.

I should fix me. Stitch everything back.

xo

21st

Keep calm and thank you for the birthday wishes :)

Thanks to my girls - Khadijah, Atikah, Syafiqah, Nana Yew, Juju and Farhana for the late night surprise party. With two cakes and 'Hikayat Minhat' birthday wishes, I thanks all of you very much.

Thanks Aflah for being the first person to wish my birthday. Atiqah and Raihana for calling me during my day. Also, I appreciate those wishes in Facebook. Dayang and Raihan, thank you for the sweet present, kaler pink lagi tau. Hihi.

Mama Abah and sibs, thank you for coming here all along from Kuantan, for the teddy bear also. I didn't expect you guys will come to Terengganu just for my birthday celebration. I love you to the moon and back!

And thank you Syafiq Haiqal, for being the considerate one, for being the one I always dream of and for continuously loving me, in every way. Let's work our way through marriage.

Happy getting older everyone xx

December and Something to Ponder

Assalamu'alaikum :)

Found something to ponder;

1. If you like someone, wait.
2. Give lots of compliments, even if you’re shy. Everyone else is too.
3. Change. Get a haircut, try new perfume, get new sheets. Become better than you were before.
4. Eat healthier. Learn to cook something fancy.
5. Get up earlier and watch the sun come up.
6. Wear soft clothes, take a bath, drink something warm.
7. Meet someone new, even just a friend.
8. Become closer with your friends and your family. Call your mother. Cry with your best friend. Tell everyone how much you appreciate them.
9. Keep your room clean. Buy some candles. Let the natural light in.
10. Make a list of reasons why you’ll be better off without them. Believe they are true, because they are. 
11. Listen to new music. 
12. Write everything you’re thinking and feeling. Write letters. Write happy letters, sad letters, and angry letters, even if you’re never going to send them.
13. It’s okay to be sad, but not forever. Sadness is not as beautiful as music makes it seem. Lack of sleep makes your eyes droopy, not deep. Wake up every morning and tell yourself you’re going to have a good day.
14. Go to the library. Don’t forget to look in the music section. 
15. Remove them from your life. Get rid of the things they gave you if they make you sad. They’re not worth it. You will never be happy if you continue to hold on to the things that make you sad.
16. Make new memories.
17. Try to find something to appreciate in everything you do or experience.
18. Being alone is okay, you don’t have to surround yourself with people. 
19. Become your own best friend. Buy yourself coffee and drink it alone in a cafe. Take your time. 
20. Learn to love every bit of yourself.

H, these cats are cuter, aite? :)

Before I end, this is beautiful too. It is from 'Ten Things I learned before I Turned Twenty' by Amanda Helm. If it is too long, bookmark it first but make sure you'll read it because it's worth your time ;)

1. When your friends ask you to hangout, and you don't feel like it, don't go. Don't ever do things halfway or do something that makes you uncomfortable. With everything, give all of yourself, even the pieces you never knew existed.

2. It is okay not to know. Everyone always despises the phrase, "I don't know" but no one tells you it is okay not to know. The becoming is more important than the being, anyways.

3. If someone ever makes you feel less, in any way, you have every right to walk away. You have every right to cut out toxic people in your life. To close the door on people who make you feel bad about who you are or what you stand for. Friends don't tear down, they build up. (This is splendid awh).

4. Loss is always going to happen. Just like paint will always chip and rain will always fall, loss will always be part of life. No matter how much I don't like it, or avoid it, it is going to walk my way at several times in my life. Learn to embrace it and learn to get closure.

5. Give yourself a chance. Stop saying, "I don't think I can" or "But what if I am not able to?" and give yourself a chance. This may be cliche but try to believe in yourself. When you get older, your knees won't work the same and you won't have the best memory, and you are going to wish you'd given yourself a chance years sooner.

6. Fall in love. Don't be guarded before you fall in love. You could fall in love three times and still not find the right one, but none of it is going to make "the one" matter less. Don't fall into the idea that your first love has to be your best love.

7. Firsts are going to be messy. First loves, first failed tests, first college class, first time you drive a car, first time you ride a plane - first time were made to be imperfect. Just because it's messy and all over the place, doesn't mean it can't be good or worthwhile.

8. You want another scoop of ice-cream? Go get it. Get three more scoops of ice-cream if that is what you want. "Fat" is not the opposite of beautiful and it is not the opposite of happy. Don't let anyone tell you that your body type isn't beautiful. Beauty is a social construct, create your own, become your own.

9. Let yourself be alone. Loneliness is not a bad thing. It is healthy and normal. Everyone needs to spend a good portion of their life alone. We learn who we are when we are alone; life is less crowded and more clear when we are alone.

10. If you aren't happy where you are, change it. Quit your job, move, become a vegetarian, get a new hobby, pick up an old hobby, whatever you do - make sure it benefits you. Life is too short to not be alive, to not be passionate, and overflowing :)

Happy pondering, people. xo

Hey! :)

Annyeonghaseyooo!

It's been a long time. Phew.

Hi guys! I have finished my foundation program month ago and if everything went well, the result etc, I'll advance my study on degree program inshaaAllah ameen ameen ya Allah.

I am now having school holiday (well, I am a pre-service teacher so I don't really call it as cuti sem, it is more to cuti sekolah style). I miss my classmates, lecturers, seniors especially TESLians quite a lot awh. I miss writing too but seriously I am really busy right now.

I went to Cameron Highlands with my family a week ago and it's really fun and I cherish the moment we had together since it's been a long time I don't spend great quality time with my family.

I'll update more soon. xo

Do Things That Make You Happy

Haiii *senyum*

One

"Omigosh omigosh cantiknyaaa dia pakai shawl. I should wear shawl too sebab rasa tak updated dengan fashion nowadays (gitew). Nak jadi hijabster jugek"

Lalu pergi membeli shawl(s) dan pashmina(s). Pulang ke rumah, melihat pula tutorial pakai shawl dan yang sewaktu dengannya. Dan bila dah pakai shawl, walaupun rasa panas rimas serabut, rasa bangga sebab orang cakap "cantiknya youuu, hot stuff lah sekarang. hijabster gitu".

The question is; do you happy? truly happy for making others impressed with you?

Two

"Pergh, cool nya dia menyanyi. Famous pulak tu. Hmm nak try menyanyi jugak lah. Nak jugak jadi famous supaya dapat membeli famous amos. Asyik terperap je dalam bilik, macam mana orang nak kenal dan perasan kewujudan aku kat maktab/uni ni "

Lalu proses mempopularkan diri sendiri pun bermula dengan menyertai pertandingan nyanyian walaupun sudah terang lagi bersuluh suara tak berapa nak sedap, takpe, asalkan aku naik stage and then orang kenal aku then boleh upload kat Facebook. Gitew.

The question is: do you happy? :)

I asked several people about this topic and these are some respondents of my questions :-

"Do things that make you happy means just do the things that you like. I am happy with people who understand me and I don't have to pretend in front of them, like my family" -Dayang.

"Things that make me happy are spending my time shopping, watching kdramas and spend time with those that I love and cherish. I am happy just the way I am" -Cassandra

"I am happy when I accomplish my goal" -Sue Zhen

"I define 'do things that make you happy' as you do something based on your preferences and interest rather than 'I want to be accepted' feeling. Things that make me happy is when I devote myself to God and being His instrument in helping others" -Farhana

"Do things that make me able to be who I am without being someone else. Things that allow me to spread out my idea and my feelings." - Syafiqah

"I believe it means to always prefer doing things that you are passionate with, because doing something that we love is somewhat happiness. I am happy when sharing some beautiful moments with my family, my friends and my loved ones" -Syafiq Haiqal

The main point here is, do something to impress yourself, not others. Memang kita akan rasa orang lain sangat cool bila dia pandai berfesyen, bila dia update status facebook dapat banyak like, bila dia main gitar sangat hebat or bila dia berkata-kata dia sangat adorable. But I believe, by being yourself and do your passion, you can be happy.

I always remind myself to be satisfied with what I have eventhough kadang-kadang selalu fikir macamni;

"Coolnya Khadijah main tenis. Nak jugaklah turun petang-petang main tenis. Kalau tak, rasa left out. Classmates ramai yang main tenis"

"Nana and Hana selalu baca novel English. Nak jugaklah baca novel English. Kalau baca novel BM rasa tak cool ohhh".

"Dia ada S3 mini hmm nak bawak keluar duit blog ah nak beli S3 mini"

And I have to admit that I sometimes try to do what others are capable of. Tapi lama-lama this kind of habit sangat membosankan sebab hakikatnya I can't feel the true happiness.

Takpelah kalau awak seorang je yang minat puisi dalam kelompok awak.

Takpelah kalau  awak seorang je yang pandai main gitar dalam kelas awak.

Takpelah kalau awak seorang je yang minat P. Ramlee daripada geng-geng awak.

Bukannya forever alone pun.

By doing things that you like, love and have a passion with, you'll find the happiness and people who have the mutual interests with you. Believe me :)

I love sajak and puisi.

I love pink.

I love to spend my time alone with books (rather than people).

I love to listen to Coldplay.

So, what are yours? ;)

I Am Still Living With My Past (you)

The following character is either girl or boy, woman or man, female or male.

As long as it is story, just read :)

Now the sky could be blue, I don't mind.

Without you, it is a waste of time.

I am still living with my past (you).

Once,

I drown myself into photography. 

We both are bookworms, living in our book-maniac world. Read sirah novels by Abdul Latip Talib.

Listening Coldplay's songs, especially 'Strawberry Swing'. You were a part of orchestra team, while I am in Gamelan.

Before, I never thought of wearing high heels because you once said, "It's not you that shortie, it others are just too tall" :)

To add, I never wore shawl since I met you because you personally think that "woman who wears tudung bawal is more beautiful than others" and you already knew that 'Rabiatul' and 'make-up thingy' can't be put in one sentence because it's weird.

Do you still remember 'Plants vs Zombie' game? And how interested we were with the characters until you gave me the'Sunflower' doll and you own the 'Corn'.

Your Tipah (cat), yeah, I still remember her. And because you always told me about Tipah, I slowly began to love cats :)

We enjoyed sending letters to each other because it is not mainstream and it shows more sincerity I guess.

On the way going back to Terengganu, I can't avoid to think of you whenever i past Kerteh area, because your brother works there.

I thought I'll be okay in Kuala Terengganu until I saw a clinic named 'Klinik Najmie'. Oh, the name is almost similar like yours.

Suprisingly, I still wear the pink jubah you bought me from Indonesia last year and it is the last gift you gave me before we both decided not to contact anymore.

I don't listen to Coldplay's anymore because I find Austin Mahone is more to my style.

Now I sometimes wear high-heels because it is not others are too tall, it is just me that too short.

I love shawls, especially pashmina because I am lazy, I don't have that much time to iron my bawal.

I apply compact powder, lip gloss, lotion and sometimes eye-liner because now 'Adawiyah' and 'make-up thingy' are beautiful in one sentence.

but,

I am still in love with photography.

I am still a bookworm, a Hlovate fan and forever Abdul Latip Talib's loyal reader.

I plays Sarun in Gamelan and I enjoys watching orchestra performance via Youtube.

I put the 'Sunflower' in a box together with your letters :)

And the jubah, I never put it in my wardrobe. It is always in a place that I can see clearly and obviously. Just because...

I never realized that all this while, I have decided to still live with my past (you) because my past (you) was the happiest moments i ever had. So far yet so close. so close yet so far.

It's such a perfect day... :)

p/s Final exam. Maafkan salah silap. Tahun depan dah naik degree inshaa Allah ^^

Promises, Birthday and Redza Minhat

Hi.


On the first day of semester three, I already made some promises to myself inspired from tumblr. It's to lift up my spirit as I'll be facing le final exam of foundation program (finally!!!) in TESL this semester.

1. Drink a lot of water and green tea - no progression. I'm still in love with my ice milo. Oreo Vanilla cool blog is the main choice during outing. Still, my love to plain water is just plain as it is.


2. Eat a big breakfast, average lunch and a tiny dinner - I am not use to a big breakfast. Fried mee with sausage is enough, and milo ice haha. I know it's not a good breakfast. Besides, I can't afford to just eat biscuit for breakfast, give me no energy at all.


3. Eat fruit & vegetables + natural food - can I just cancel this so-called azam baru? sigh. Adawiyah and vegetables cannot be put in a sentence. The epic nightmare.


4. Go for a walk / swim / bike / ride - Proud of having friends like Raihan, Tan and Hana because they are good in sports so little by little they influence me to exercise or go for a riadah.


5. Read a book - Surely as book is my staple diet but currently reading To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee because it is a must for English Studies III.


6. Go to bed earlier - only if I've completed my task. I less my hibernate time during weekend so yeah.


7. Stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself or others - I am trying bebeh.


8. Don't dwell on the past - never interested to flashback who I was. hey, moving on is the best decision.


9. Enjoy little things in life - indeed :)


10. Do not judge or compare yourself to others - to be frank, I am never interested in comparing myself to others because I've said this many times; everyone has their own potential and unique in their own way so be yourself is the best thing to do because others personalities are taken. xo


11. Begin yoga or meditation - moderate this to read al-mulk every night before go to bed, it is more soothing.


12. Do not put things off - procrastination is bad dood, avoid it! :(


13. Avoid processed food - this is among the hardest things to do, I'm trying self, I'm trying T.T


14. Stretch daily to increase flexibility - this sounds weird and I done this only once since the promise are made xD


15. Listen to peaceful music - peaceful music is not like my genre though because I like music from G-Dragon, Bigbang, 2ne1, Lee Hi and Tablo but yeah my latest favourite song is From The Bottom by Tablo ft Bumkey.


16. Live in a tidy place - to avoid stress actually. Mama always called or texted me to clean up my room regularly. Aye aye mama!


17. wear clothes that make you happy - i just wear anything, makcik style also can as long as it is comfortable (and covering the aurah)


18. Throw away things you don't need - I need everything in my room so far but if there's anything I don't need anymore or I don't  want to use it, I'll ask others first just in case they want the stuff.


19. Remember that all the effort you are making now will pay off in the end - says who study, assignments, homework yadda yadda are SO MUCH FUN? but yeah, you need to study aite?


20. Go outside more - I am. And I want to travel more :)

Le Birthday

choc indulgence rawr

birthday sweetie xo

after eating yumm yumm

heyya love :)

My English Studies lecturer celebrated her birthday today. Happy birthday Miss Izzati, may God bless you. She'll getting married soon yeay :)

Redza Minhat

suami orang.

I don't know but I am really into Redza Minhat lately. Is it because of Kil or what? Sigh. I like guy with good words. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Redza Minhat's blog. Read, because i think Redza is a man with good look and good words. I used his name in my Language Description (Reporting Statements) on wh- questions today and I can understand more woohoo


when is redza minhat's wedding day?
Transformation : Ali asked Aini when Redza Minhat's wedding day was.
Rule (1) : Subject comes before the verb.
Evidence (1) : "Is Redza Minhat's wedding day" is changed to " Redza Minhat's wedding day was".
Rule (2) : Change in tense.
Evidence (2) : "Is" is changed to "was".


And there's another examples but my questions' theme is Redza Minhat :P


End,
Adawiyah :)

Highschool Memories

 let's leave the past behind  the master mind of love

trying to enjoy  the moments i won't get again

after graduation when time goes past remember me for long

where do our highschool memories go

where do our highschool memories go

where do they go oh oh

Highschool Memories by Tory Lanez  

Highschool was great. Lots of fun and lots of friends.

I was a student of SMK Sultanah Hajjah Kalsom (SHAKS) which is located in Bandar Damansara Kuantan. It is a cluster school, about 20 minutes from my house and students supposedly live in hostel. I entered SHAKS on 2006 so yeah, after got 5A's for UPSR, Mama wanted me to enter a school that provides hostel facility eventhough I refused to. Cry me a river. So and so, I was an arabic class student - Al Farabi, stayed in Scarlet Dorm (room number four). The first sixth months I struggled a lot from homesick.  I was not used to iron my attires back then and the most horrible thing was I need to take turn for almost everything like to take bath in shower, to eat at Dewan Makan, to use washing machine and even to brush my teeth at the sink! Oh god. But well, those are the basic life of living in hostel right? You need to share because a cliche quote said sharing is caring and caring is loving :)

I have lots of good friend. Raihana, Maizatul Aimi, Lyiana Dee, Siti Nur Akmal are IIUM students. Nadzirah, Suhailah and Noraliff in UKM. Suria and Atiqah in UiTM while Solehah in UTM Skudai. Those overseas people, Shazmie in Yarmouk Jordan and Syafie in Japan if I am not mistaken. They were my classmates since Form One.

Raihana Rahim

Noraliff Zazliza

Syafiqah and Solehah

Ammar, Shazmie, Athirah, Fatin, Suhailah, Nadzirah, Syafiqah

Memories

1) Movie night during weekend in the school hall where we literally just need to pay fifty cent per person.

2) Going to the mall for outing, we changed our baju batik to comfortable casual attire anyway :p

ASAT 2007 - Sajak

Debat 2009

ASAT - Debat 2009

Pandu Puteri

I did debate for school, reciting poem too and a little bit of public speaking and obviously I was not active on the field/outdoor activities because of my petite and skinny figure. I was more comfortable on the stage, voice out my ideas well yeah I was a talkative person, I was and I am perhaps.

In debate team, I was the first speaker. Ainiza was the second while Suria was the third. Puan Zainurah was the one who trained us. Seriously, she's really scary but all of us do love her sincerely. After every winning, she'll treat us with yummy foods or gave some cute stuffs to appreciate our achievement in debate.

2008 - 3 Al Farabi

2009 - 4 Al Farabi

Pretty guys

Handsome girls

Classmates were really crazy, and clever, and sometimes too annoying haha. Aliff was the most charismatic one since he was the head boy cewahhh. Sometimes we tease him as an invisible man because he has a dark skin. I still remember, during our prep time on night, the whole block happened to black-out. Some of us shouted, "Aliff mana Aliff? Sudah lah, Aliff dah hilang". Haha. Aimi, Fatin, Suhailah, Syafiqah and Nadzirah were pretty popular because they were 'beauty with brain' type of people. No wonder they got alot of candies during dedication week,huh? :)

Akmal, Atiqah and Liyana were the most hardworking girls in the class since Form One, I swear. They also have good attitude. Muhaimin and Naqiuddin were the top students too but they always bullied others especially Suria. Suria was their favourite victim. Once they pasted a paper on the class' door written 'Suria Untuk Dijual' just because Suria got lesser marks than them. Every passerby just laughed and asked either they can buy Suria or not -.-

So many good times! I wish highschool would lasts forever but I know the future will be good too :)

bye bye byeee :')

A former highschool student,

Adawiyah Rosli :)

Elok-elok Berjalan, Hati :)

Semalam saya menonton Beautiful Creatures. Sedih k sedih T.T


Terjumpa satu entry dalam draft and it is the most cliche and corny entry I ever write. So bila nak scroll down entry ni, sediakan baldi untuk muntah if you do think my words are too cheesy. I was a person like this before, main bahasa bunga-bunga seperti bunga tahi ayam. Seriously. Shall we begin? Oh, and the subject doesn't exist in my life anymore, note that.

Penah dengar tak tentang tautan hati? Bila orang sana sakit,Allah akan gerakkan hati awak untuk turut sama rasa sakit dan bila orang sana sedih, Allah akan hadirkan juga perasaan sebak tu - saya tak tahu sama ada orang lain pernah rasa tapi saya pernah rasa macamana. Bila orang sana ada apa-apa masalah, hati saya tersentuh, it was like some kind of instinct. Kami terpisah antara negara. Saya tak fikirkan dia pun, saya buat kerja saya macam biasa tapi tiba-tiba saya akan rasa nak menangis. Saya tahu, perasaan sedih ni, sebak ni, sakit ni bukan dari diri saya. Saya taktahu nak terangkan macamana. Ini semua sebab sayang ke? Ya Allah, hati ni lagi-lagi laaa. Kenapa terasa orang kat sana ada masalah? Senget kan?


Perasaan ni sangat menyeksakan sebab saya takanak ambil tahu apa-apa pasal dia. Saya taknak tahu dia mati ke, hidup ke sebab saya tadek medium untuk menghubungi dia. Allah kan medium kita? Tapi, saya dah tadek hati, hehe. Saya pernah cakap kat Allah,


"Allah, Kau hilangkanlah tautan hati ini. Jangan biarkan hati aku ini tersentuh lagi pada keadaannya. Lenyapkanlah dia dari ingatanku. Susah sangat nak tahu perihal dia, maka hilangkanlah semuanya. Jangan biarkan hati ini terdetik untuk mengambil tahu perihal dia. Jangan biarkan hati ini resah bila tahu keadaan dia yang ada masalah. Jangan sentuhkan hatiku untuknya. Perasaan ini membuatkan aku menderita ya Allah... maafkan aku. Hilangkanlah perasaan ini supaya aku tak malu untuk menghadap-Mu."


Perasaan cinta tu, bukannya kita nak. Tak pernah minta tapi tetap datang - inilah fitrah. Saya ni bukan jenis mudah... hehe so kalau kena, akan sakit dan sakit. Dan akan larikan diri so jadi senget sebentar. Maka dari dulu, cakap kat hati, "Hati sayanggg, elok-elok berjalan, jangan sakit lagi dan jangan malukan lagi diri depan Allah" Mestilah malu, boleh pulak teringat kat dia, rindu kat dia. Eh, pada Allah ada perasaan yang sama tak? Rasa rindu dan cinta pada Allah tu melebihi rindu dan cinta kepada si dia tak? Sebenarnya cakap macamtu untuk kukuhkan hati dan juga niat. Dan, bila break up sesama manusia ni, menyakitkan dan kalau nak sembuh, it takes time. Boleh sembuh, Allah kan ada, luahlah semua :)


Saya pernah ditanya dan dijadikan tempat meluahkan perasaan oleh seorang sister yang saya kenal semasa sama-sama berMukhayyam Khariji dulu. Dia pernah cakap, dia akan tunggu lelaki yang dia suka tuu. Dia takut kalau dia kahwin, dia tak boleh nak cintakan lelaki lain macam di cintakan kekasihnya yang dulu. Allah, inilah bahayanya cinta. Letakkan cinta pada tempat yang betul. Kalau tak letakkan sesuatu pada tempat yang betul, itukan zalim namanya. Cinta... adakah cinta tu boleh dipupuk? Boleh disemai? Tak kenal maka tak cinta kan? Tak kenalAllah maka takkan cintakan Dia. Sama juga jika seseorang yang akan hadir dalam hidup kita nanti sebagai kekasih yang halal, cubalah mencintai dan tanyakan pada diri, "Cinta ini kerana nafsu atau kerana Allah?". Susahnya nak belajar mencintai seseorang, haha. Macam paksa diri untuk suka certain subjek yang susah tahap gaban, macam nak completekan game candy crush level 33, yang sangat amat terlalu susah. Anyway, belajar subjek ke, belajar untuk mencintai ke, untuk apa semua tu? Sebab hobi? Sebab suka? Eh taklah, sebab PERLU kerana Allah.


Satu lagi, dalam bersahabat, ramai lelaki yang mudah buat baik dengan perempuan. Ramai yang saya jumpa. Tapi adakah itu tanda mereka mencintai saya? Tidak anak-anak, tidak sama sekali. Semua itu adalah atas dasar persahabatan semata-mata. Ini pesanan ikhlas tanpa caj berbayar : jangan mudah rasa terharu untuk mencintai dan terus mendambakan seseorang yang so-called-special. Naturalkan hati. Kalau nak jugak lah terharu tu kan, alihkan rasa terharu itu kepada Allah, "Ya Allah, Kau Maha Penyayang kerana hadirkan aku sahabat-sahabat yang sangat baik hati dan sentiasa suka menolong. Terima kasih ya Allah, sayangilah mereka...". Ada seorang sahabat lelaki saya berikan saya MP3 - so what do you expect? Confirm sangat ramai cakap yang sahabat ni sukakan saya, cintakan saya yadda yadda yadda. Sesungguhnya tidak wahai rakyat jelata sekalian. Dia memang sangat baik dengan semua orang. Memang dia jenis baik macamtu, nak buat macamane lagi? Ottoke? Dan hati saya ni, tadeklah terharu sampai nak jatuh cinta. Cinta tu berputik bukan sebab material tapi hadir secara semulajadi. And because of that (dan oleh kerana itu) saya belikan dia sebuah buku tazkiyatun nafsu. Dia memang tak suruh bayar tapi, orang berbudi, kita pun kena berbudi. Lagipun, buku tu banyak mengajar hati saya so I wish he'll get something from that book too :)


Teringat saya kepada pengisian satu talk di IIUM Kuantan, ada seorang brother ni cakap, orang perempuan ni, kalau dia dah jatuh cinta, dia akan sayang sesayangnya. Dia akan setia. Kalau dia jatuh cinta pada seorang lelaki dan lelaki itu adalah cinta pertamanya, dia akan kenang lelaki tu sampai bila-bila, selamanya, forever and ever (here,saya bangkang yang berhormat. tak semua orang sama). Didatangkan kisah Asiah, semasa Asiah diseksa oleh Firaun, apa yang Asiah minta? Asiah minta pada Allah sebuah mahligai di syurga dan Asiah tak minta pun suami yang soleh temankan dia. Sebabnya, kata brother ni lah, sebabnya Firaun masih bertakhta di hati Asiah, wallahu'alam. Saya dalam dua, nak percaya ke tak tapi kenyataan ni sangat menghempuk saya laaa.


Okay entry macam dah panjang sangat.


p/s Sentiasalah cakap kat ibu mama umi emak, "doakan anakmu ini dapat suami yang soleh". Doa ibu sangat superb dan mujarab jiddan!^^